Are You a Be-er or a Do-er? with Jessica Eley
Episode 393: Show Notes
Today on the show we are joined by the wonderful, the amazing, the multi-talented, Jessica Eley. If you do not already know Jessica, well you should! She is a mindset coach for high-achievers and has helped loads of business owners improve their practices and reach for the stars. She goes deep, wide and everywhere in-between with them and today we will be talking about the two different types of people there are in this world; be-ers and do-ers!
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Jessica unpacks how figuring out which of these types you are can make such a difference to the way you approach life and business. She explains the pros and cons of each and how striving for more balance can serve you so well moving forward. We talk about the types of tools and strategies that work for each and we give great examples of how these play out. Jessica is definitely more of a be-er, while Emylee is definitely a do-er, the conversation has a natural contrasting dynamic, which you will definitely appreciate. Join us as we dive deep with Jessica!
The Simple Difference Between Be-ers and Do-ers
There are two different ways people grow and progress: some of us do things first that are results-driven and feelings and identity are secondary to the outcomes. For the rest of us, identity comes first and how we feel about ourselves precedes any actions. The first type of person, the do-er, will go to the gym looking for a result, while the be-er will need to believe they are the type of person who goes to a gym before they are able to commit to the action. A person who is more concerned with this identity usually needs to fully step into it before they can move forward while the do-er is happy to jump in head-first! There are obvious pros and cons to both of these types. Those people who you see achieving fast success and seem to embody what they do with such ease, those are the do-ers, the ones who keep up at what they believe and truck away with commitment and self-fulfillment, fall into the second category.
Shifting Identities and Developing an Internal Engine
This does not mean that we cannot change and move along the spectrum, people often morph and transition along these lines. Burnout can often lead action-driven people to become more focused on feelings and identity. Even here at the Boss Project, we have moved more towards this side of things recently! Jess explains how she is much more on the being side than the doing and for do-ers, getting a result does not really change anything about the way they feel. If they can take ownership of their results retroactively, this can be a very healthy and rewarding step. Without some sort of reflection, do-ers can be on a cycle of no satisfaction and things never being enough. Conversely, the be-er has to recognize they need to get to a place where they can take action. The balance for each is what is important and only through some attention to both can we all feel okay and get results!
Getting to the Point of Action from an Identity Mindset
If you are a be-er, that means your identity comes first. When you listen to a podcast or take a course, you still have to take action to change your identity. Remember reading a book or joining a mastermind will not make you money! Jessica believes it is more socially acceptable to be a do-er and than be-er in today's hustler culture and the important thing for all of our be-ers is that you have to get to the point where you are able to take action! This is where the idea of balance comes in. There is nothing wrong with being more focused on how you feel and see yourself, but it cannot keep you in a stationary position! There is a missing piece for both parties and giving it some attention can make a world of difference. Some tools and exercises will only help certain people. Identity-first people will rarely be helped by setting financial goals, for example.
Knowing Who You Are Will Make Everything Easier
Jessica just signed two new one-on-one clients this week and it happens that one was a be-er and one was a do-er. Both are doing great things and Jessica reminds us that your success is not determined by your type! Knowing which way you lean can be so important and if you are unaware advice can be really misleading and misguided. Things like 'fake it till you make it' will never work for the be-er! The be-er needs to give some attention to results and do-er must spare some thought for their feelings. Jessica believes that midlife crises are a result of do-ers coming to terms with their feelings and realizing they do not feel the way they have always wanted to. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy just as the be-er's tenancy can lead to inaction! Which one are you? What are your thoughts on the subject? DM us on Instagram and let us know!
Quote This
Knowing which way you are inclined already helps you balance it out.
—Jessica Eley
Highlights
The Simple Difference Between Be-ers and Do-ers! [0:03:20.4]
Shifting Identities and Developing an Internal Engine. [0:15:41.7]
Getting to the Point of Action from an Identity Mindset. [0:24:12.4]
Knowing Who You Are Will Make Everything Easier! [0:31:09.9]
#TalkStrategyToMe [0:40:31.6]
Figure out whether you are a be-er or a do-er!
What actions to take in order to grow.
Take time to reflect on accomplishments.
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Jessica Eley
I’m a mindset coach for high-achievers because I used to proudly don the Type-A, crush-all-the-goals-in-record-speed, be-as-strategic-and-efficient-and-productive-as-humanly-possible hats. I understand the rub between loving your ability to create results in your life but recognizing that other important things are starting to suffer because of it. I also understand now that there’s a much better way to still be high-achieving… in a way that doesn’t deplete, ignore, or downplay the essentials of a happy life. I can help you do the same. I go deep, I move fast, and I get to the root of what’s been driving your decision-making so that you can keep what’s working and make new choices that support where you’re going.
KEY TOPICS
Mindset, Being, Doing, Identity, Action, Reflection, Self-awareness
