Are you Addicted to Work? These 10 Red Flags Might Surprise You
Episode 749: Show Notes
In this episode, we’re talking about one of our favorite things— how to work less and enjoy your life more! A lot of us like the idea of slowing down in the summer and taking some more life-first days, but sometimes it gets really hard to do that! We recently read an article called Ten Red Flags That Show You’re Addicted to Work According to a Psychotherapist. It’s a neat perspective from a mental health professional, and today’s episode is dedicated to sharing their insights with you.
We hope that afterwards, you’ll be able to look at your schedule and see exactly where you could be a little bit more self-aware about the areas where your relationship with work is teetering on toxic. You don’t have to tick all these boxes to be a workaholic. If even one of them feels true for you, it’s time to reflect! Consider them as useful guides to help you identify workaholism.
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Why You Shouldn’t Be in a Hurry All the Time
Hurry, hurry, hurry! The need to fit productivity into every single minute of every day impacts how productive you actually end up being each day. One of the things that helped us with this is to intentionally design our schedules to fit in a long enough break that it still happens even if it gets delayed. We had to reflect on this really often to get it right. If you feel like this, you probably feel compelled to multitask. You don’t feel productive unless you’re focusing on three things at once.
Control-Freak? That Might Be Your Anxiety Speaking
When we grasp at control in a lot of different areas, it’s often driven by anxiety. Our internal narrative is often saying that we have to have a hand in everything, or else we’re wasting time. That anxiety is one of the clearest signs of being work-addicted. If you’re still saying that you don’t let go because you don’t know how, then you need to recognize that that is an excuse. You also need to know that all of this is stemming from insecurity. It might be time to reflect on how you are feeling outside of work.
One Good Reason Why Perfectionism Is Not the Answer
We’ve talked about this often. And one of the things we focus on is that you have to address the root cause. You have to be looking at what’s fueling your desire for perfection and what’s causing you to behave in a certain way. Often when you do this, the other stuff dissolves on its own. If you’re thinking things like ‘there’s no room for mistakes,’ or ‘anyone who doesn’t meet my standards is lazy,’, your perfectionism is a symptom of workaholism. For you to continue to grow as a business, you have to acknowledge the areas you are not as strong in.
If You’re Having Trouble at Home, This Might Be Why
Another surefire sign that you might be addicted to work is negative repercussions in your relationships. The article calls this ‘work infidelity’. True workaholics don’t show up for family events, forget or minimize the importance of family rituals and celebrations, and even when they make it, their minds are back at the office. The reason this is super relevant for our listeners is that for many of us, our work is at home. So there’s no clear boundary in the delineation of space. We don’t want you to get to the point where you’re disappointing your family, because that sucks.
Do You Constantly Self-Impose Deadlines?
The article says that workaholics strangle themselves with unrealistic deadlines. You’re going into an altered state, avoiding sleep, missing meals, and working around the clock to finish projects. In extreme cases, you mimic the behaviors of alcoholics and drug users. Do you need a work-fix everywhere you go? This is why we stopped social selling. We didn’t know how to let go. It got to the point that social media was for work only, and now we actually love losing our phones on the weekend.
Does the Voice In Your Head Tell You Not to Unwind?
Do you feel guilty whenever you’re doing something that you don’t consider productive? That’s called work withdrawal! You don’t have to make money from every hobby or turn it into a business venture. We’re both guilty of this. It might be the biggest area we need to grow in. It has been very freeing to learn how to create without having to show up for it. You don’t need to take a photo for social media. It’s okay to let go.
Ever Heard of Work Trance? Here’s What It Means
A brown-out is the workaholic’s equivalent of an alcoholic’s black-out. It’s also known as a work trance. Have you ever blanked or had memory lapses during long conversations because of work? If you’re having a brown-out, you might even forget commitments you’ve made because your mind is stuck in the past or fixed on the future.
What Your Impatience and Irritability Might Be Telling You
This one definitely comes up for us when work is stressful. Since time is your most prized commodity, you hate to wait. Do you find yourself getting impatient at family events? Do you get short with people? Patience used to be an unattainable virtue for us, but these days we find ourselves saying that we’re in no rush, more often than not. Where are you rushing to? Where else do you need to be? What if there were no hurry, and you were in no rush?
Your Self-Inadequacy Has a Source And This Is It
If work is your security and the source of your self-esteem, you’re bound to feel empty when a project comes to an end. If you get a temporary high when you’re working on a project, and if you feel you have to produce results to prove that you’re okay, this is why. This is a real big one for both of us, and it’s the reason behind many structural changes we have made. This is where Abagail’s spirituality anchors her and gives her an innate sense of being valued and cared for. Do you believe that you are worthy without outside validation?
Baby Steps to Self-Care
We know so many people in this industry who have landed themselves in the emergency room because of not taking care of themselves. Are there physical symptoms you are ignoring? Do you schedule time away? Do you eat lunch at your desk, or do you take some time to yourself during the course of the day? It’s hard when you get into a pattern of not taking care of yourself. We’ve been in seasons where even convincing ourselves to shower was hard. We don’t want you to feel alone in this. It’s going to take time.
The umbrella of ‘workaholic’ is just the beginning. We would do some digging into the four different kinds to see how you are showing up and begin to bring some self-awareness to it. See how it improves, not your work, but you, and your happiness and relationships here, with the rest of us.
Quote This
You could be working a normal amount of hours, but if your attention is still there when you’re not at work, that’s the problem.
Highlights
Why You Shouldn’t Be in a Hurry All the Time [0:10:49]
Control-Freak? That Might Be Your Anxiety Speaking [0:13:19]
One Good Reason Why Perfectionism Is Not the Answer [0:17:17]
If You’re Having Trouble at Home, This Might Be Why [0:23:05]
Do You Constantly Self-Impose Deadlines? [0:28:03]
Does the Voice In Your Head Tell You Not to Unwind? [0:31:04]
Ever Heard of a Work Trance? Here’s What It Means [0:33:38]
What Your Impatience and Irritability Might Be Telling You [0:36:35]
Your Self-Inadequacy Has a Source And This Is It [0:38:59]
Baby Steps to Self-Care [0:42:50]
Today’s Guest:
Abagail & Emylee
The Strategy Hour Podcast
The Strategy Hour Podcast is a twice weekly show hosted by Abagail Pumphrey and Emylee Williams, the founders of Boss Project. Join us for semi-ranty biz conversations for service providers looking to ethically grow their agency businesses. Episodes cover everything from lead generation to leadership mindset to team culture and beyond.
Key Topics:
Burnout, Toxic Work Cultures, Workaholics, Habits, Investing In Yourself, Work-Life Balance, Life First Decisions
