Episode 186: Show Notes
On today’s show we’re doing things a little differently and taking you through a process that we believe can make a world of difference in your life! This episode will be all about inventing a new possibility in your life, and you’ll see just what a shift this can make. Abagail tried out this exercise recently and found it super helpful and enlightening, so we could not resist sharing it with our listeners. Full disclaimer though, it might be a bit of bumpy ride because let’s face it, most things that help you grow are not pain free. But we promise you’ll thank us in the end!
Emylee will be going through the guided exercise for the first time during the episode and you can join in with he. We can all get down to the nitty gritty together! A lot of the time we deal with the positive and negative aspects of our lives in repeated patterns of behavior that do not allow for very much progress. The process we will be detailing is simple and straightforward, yet it provides a lot of insight and hope into how small adjustments can change our lives in big ways. So if you’re game, grab your favorite notepad and buckle in, we’re going deep!
What is Working in Your Life?
The first step is to write down a few things you think are currently working well in your life. Just let them come out naturally without too much judgement. The order in which they come to mind can be interesting to reflect on so for now let the process happen organically. Some of the things that came up for us were exercise, income, motherhood, communications, diet, confidence and freedom. Hopefully our list can inspire you, but don’t let it limit you! These things can come from anywhere in your life so just let them flow and see what comes out.
What is Not Working in Your Life?
Now that was fun, wasn’t it? The next part might be a little harder. You need to write down what you feel is not working in your life at the moment. We suggest you note things that are both general and specific in this step. If you are struggling with something in your business, write that down, but also try and identify exactly what it is you are unhappy with. These broad and narrow definitions will help later on so try be as clear as possible. Do not worry if this part is longer than your positive list. That’s actually pretty common, so again, just let it all out onto your paper.
For us the main ones that came out were inner and close relationships and creating abundance and security, but we both had plenty more! Now we need you to pick an area from this list you feel like you should work on. You can choose the most pressing issue, or the one you think you most want to tackle, it’s up to you! Do not worry about overcoming it or who you do this just yet, for now just single out one thing to work on.
Your Probable Future Without Change
The next step in this process, and by now you should be seeing that each step is easy enough by itself, is to set out what your life will be like if you do not change anything. This is what is called a probable future. There are three sub-steps you need to follow to do this. The first is to describe what you are doing right now. So, which actions are resulting from this issue? Emylee wrote down that because of her problem with inner relationships she is arguing, ignoring problems and waiting it out. Abagail said that her lack of security and abundance is leading her to her work her ass off, being inauthentic and covering up.
The second thing is to describe what you have because of this issue. Emylee says she has a lack of team and friendship, conflict and a lack of desire. Abagail says the area not working in her life is leaving her with conflict in her marriage, holes in her vision of the future and a lack of partnership. Keep going with us, we know it can be tough. The light at the end of the tunnel is just around the corner!
The last part of the map is to describe how you are and how you are feeling with regards to this issue. Emylee wrote down that she feels overwhelmed, unhappy, stuck and stressed. Abagail feels angry and unhappy, like a victim, resentful and depressed, uninspired, frightened and like she is holding all of these feelings in. Phew! See we told you it was not going to be a walk in the park! Hopefully doing this with us is helping you to get into all those dark corners, because they need cleaning too!
What is Missing That Could Make a Difference?
Now, if you were to completely change your probable future, what would that look like? Remember, if you don’t change anything it will stay the same. So think about about what it would be like if it was different, think about how you would feel if you solved the problem you have identified. You are in control of this, take charge and imagine things improving. Again, we want you to look at those three parts, but let’s go backwards this time starting with how you would feel, then what you would have and lastly what you would do. Emylee wrote that she would be hopeful and grateful, would have pride in her accomplishments and would be having meaningful conversations with people. Abagail said that she would not be so reactive to everything and would be more at peace with things that happen every day.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Give yourself a pat on the back! We have made it through some of the difficult waters and are nearing the beach! You might have noticed with the steps we’ve covered so far, a lot of what is going on has to do with our attitudes. And what creates these attitudes? A lot of it has to do with the stories we tell ourselves all the time. These can be explanations, excuses or affirmations, but we are constantly defining the meaning of our life through our internal stories. Quite often these stories involve judgements of others and assumptions about them. When we do this we forget that those around us have their own interior worlds and complexities. That does not mean that all our personal narratives and internal dialogues are wrong; we just need to be aware of how inward facing it is. With this self awareness we can see that when we tell ourselves that someone did something to spite us, it is not necessarily the case and often other peoples’ motivations are not what we assume. It is a big step but if you can start to make it, we promise you will start to see a difference.
Inventing A New Possibility For Your Life
Now we have arrived at the really exciting part! This is where you get to actually invent a whole new possibility for yourself. We are literally going to create another possible future, one free of the problem area you have identified. Fill in the following sentence: “ The possibility
I am inventing for myself in my life is…” For Emylee it meant imagining a possibility of being grateful and expressing gratitude. What’s yours?
Comparing Your New Possibility to Your Not Working List
Now if we look back at your original list of things that are not working, what do we see? Can you see how this can start to affect other areas of your life? Maybe some other parts were not working? This simple exercise really showed us the power of a new possibility and how you can really turn things around with just some imagination and a bit of follow through. With this process you can see both your current, probable future and another one you are able to invent. In the end it is up to you decide which you want to come to fruition, because it is your choice. If you tried this exercise with us we think you could be taking the first steps towards a healthier, wealthier and more fit future!
- Making a list of what is working in your life. [0:02:21.3]
- Laying out what is not working in your life. [0:05:41.2]
- Picking an area from your list that you will work on. [0:12:55.2]
- Talking about your probable future without change. [0:15:40.3]
- What is missing that could make a difference? [0:21:10.3]
- The stories we tell ourselves and how they shape our lives. [0:25:10.4]
- Inventing a new possibility for your life and flipping your problem on its head. [0:27:42.9]
- Comparing your new possibility to your not working list. [0:31:13.2]
- Choosing to implement this new possibility. [0:33:01.1]