Stop Living in a Fear Based Mentality
Episode 458: Show Notes
Are you unsure of what you are doing or where you are going? We know the feeling! Here at Boss Project we want to talk about these things with you! On this episode of the The Strategy Hour we are talking about the crippling effects of fear and anxiety. We are here to tell you that everyone feels these things at different times and you need to be kind to yourself when these scary feelings come around! It is the unknowingness and feeling unsure that make it so unbearable most of the time. But if we can talk about and acknowledge what is going on maybe we can make some progress and take a little more control of our lives. Come on sister, we know you got this!
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Emylee feels that she has an unhealthy fixation on the amount of time she has left before she dies, something that can become overwhelming and paralyzing. This can stop her from achieving the exact goal that these fears arise out of, wanting to be impactful and do great things. She feels like she is not sure what to do next and how to go about getting over these hurdles. Abagail on the other hand finds she is stuck more in the present than in the future. She ends up settling for the dissatisfaction and inaction of not having any more to give and just wants to put her feet up and do nothing. We are sure all our listeners have all their own worries and concerns that affect them in different ways and we really feel for all of you and hope that this episode can be the beginning of some important conversations towards better managing these issues.
What Do You Fear?
Abagail recently listened to a speech by Erwin MacManus who says that most of us live like we are not going to die. His point is that we will be dead much longer than we are alive and we need to make use of our time here on earth. This is exactly what Emylee feels, but instead of inspiring action it cripples her abilities, leading her to feel indecisive and unsure. She has this fear of lying on her deathbed one day and looking back regretting not having done more or something different. These feelings are not always rational but this does not make them any less real or powerful. The question cycle can go on forever and can lead to decision paralysis, stuck on what to do next. One of the ways to address these issues that we recommend is the personality color framework. This is an easy test you can do that was devised by Jacob Adamo. It helps you to get closer to figuring out what your key question is and understand the way that you operate. If you can do this, you can get more clarity on what motivates you and how to get past your fear with this knowledge. According to this method, red personalities ask ‘what’ when they want to do something. They are goal oriented and it is not so much about reasons but more just about what needs to be done. Yellow asks ‘who’. So this is usually about which people you would do something for, this could be for your kids, your parents or partner for example. Green types ask ‘how’, they are interested in the mechanics and method for accomplishing something and lastly blue personalities are concerned with why. They need to be clear on the reasons for action. This system will not solve all your problems but may go some way towards making things easier for you, so go do the test, it’s free online!
What Happens When We Stop Living in Fear?
According to Erwin MacManus, we find freedom on the other side of fear. We are scared and inspired by this idea and can only hope that one day we find this sort of freedom that he is talking about. We hope this for our listeners too, because it sounds amazing! It is not always so easy to implement these ideas and achieve these freedoms as just saying your intentions and hopes. We do not want you to think for a second that we have the definitive answers to these issues, we are struggling with them ourselves. But becoming aware of them and how we relate to them is a first step and can help with progress. It is only one step of a long process. We have come to realize this relationship to fear is more like an addiction and all of us have it. We need to learn to reduce the effect this addiction has on us. You may need to find your own way to break this cycle but we would like to share some of our ideas on the subject with you.
How to Kick the Addiction of Fear
There is the fabled 12 step recovery process, used mostly for substance abuse and we wondered whether this could be useful in this process? After going through the spiritually heavy steps, we feel it may not be the answer for everyone and Emylee flat out hates the idea! We also looked up a common step process for overcoming fear which sounded very sensical but did not give us much in the way of actual strategy and real advice. It felt like it was not enough and again Emylee was left wondering what the framework really has to offer. It’s not enough people! In the end there is no blueprint for doing this perfectly, however there are steps that can start to make the problem better and Abagail feels that some of the work she has done has improved her connection to her fears even if she has not got rid of them completely. Through this work she feels she has expanded some of her abilities by releasing them from the clutches of fear. This is basically just personal development and may be the main lessons from today’s episode. This is an ongoing process and you have to find your own way. If you need to go speak to a therapist because you feel that helps, then do that. If the 12 steps to recovery seem appropriate for you then so be it! Even Emylee feels that she used to work with more fear in the past and has got over some of her fears around marriage and having a child, purely through just living with these experiences.
Quote This
There is no completion in overcoming fear.
Highlights
What Do You Fear? [0:06:01.4]
Personality Colors and Finding Your Question [0:08:25.2]
What Happens When We Stop Living in Fear? [0:12:32.8]
How to Kick the Addiction of Fear. [0:22:10.1]
Personal Development and Expanding Your Abilities. [0:27:49.9]
The Importance of Self-Awareness and Action. [0:31:29.4]
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Abagail & Emylee
The Strategy Hour Podcast
We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.
KEY TOPICS
Fear, Anxiety, Acknowledgement, Key Questions, Personality Colors, Self Discovery
