There are Opportunities Even in the "NOs" with Rachel Dorsey
Episode 581: Show Notes
We want to help you all make room in your life for great connections and perfect alignment! If you need to be empowered and equipped to say no more frequently, both professionally and personally, today’s episode is for you! We can’t wait to give you some actionable strategies and real-life tips on how to create more opportunities to say yes to better things.
Today’s guest, Rachel Dorsey, owner of RAD Virtual Support, works in management and support roles for small business owners, all the way up to multi-million dollar digital enterprises, to help working professionals maintain work-life balance that actually works.
During today’s episode, we discuss how people pleasers are often hesitant to say ‘no’ because they actually want to say yes, but are often physically incapable of adding a yes to the list. You’ll hear why Rachel considers agreeing to too much to be a mindset issue, and why she urges listeners not to take ‘no’ personally, but to understand that it points to a misalignment that the other person has identified before you. We touch on how childhood and human design impacts your relationship with opportunity and rejection, and Emylee and Abagail share a real-life example of how a ‘no’ that was disappointing and awkward in the moment, turned out to be just the right thing. Be encouraged that your next better opportunity is just around the corner, and receive some epic tools on how to establish boundaries to make way for your best fit in life today.
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Reframing the ‘No’
Often, when we hear the word ‘no’, because we are taking it personally, we feel like we did something wrong, but often it is just a signal from the other person that they were looking for something else. ‘No’ is less about you, and more a sign of misalignment, which the other person has identified, making room for a better fit for both of you! The reason why the ‘no’ happened will reveal itself. Our experience has shown us that this is so true! It’s powerful to look for joy in the moment, and to ask what you now have capacity to seek out and do.
Seeking opportunities and finding alignment can both be an emotional rollercoaster. That’s why it’s so important to have people in your life who not only support, but also challenge you. As online service providers, creators, and small business owners, we desperately need to have people in our lives who balance us out.
Saying Yes to You
Hearing Rachel’s story of how she said no to a non-profit she had partnered with for years highlighted an important principle for us. We often hate to say no because we think our ‘yes’ serves the betterment of others, but in reality, saying yes to too many things leave you spreading yourself too thin to give your best. An important practice is to ask yourself what’s motivating you. Saying no sometimes isn’t easy, but if you can really look at it as an opportunity to focus on what it is actually serving for you, you can find the clarity you need to move forward. Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish - thinking through the choice that’s before us and asking why we want to say yes, can help you to choose your next steps. If your answer only considers the other person, it may not be the right one. Saying no to others can allow you to say yes to yourself. We have to be willing to make decisions with our own best interest in mind, because nobody is going to put you first, apart from yourself.
You Know Best
Everyone has advice to give. But not every piece of advice is suitable for you. Just because something can work, doesn’t mean you, personally, have to implement it! It’s so important to get to know what works for you. When you’ve been doing things a certain way for a long time, it’s hard to see other possibilities. That’s why it’s essential to take a step back and ask yourself what it is that you really want, before you proceed. What are your motivations? What do you want to achieve? The mode that works for everyone else doesn’t need to be your way forward. It’s okay to say no in order to make space for your yes! Give yourself the freedom to be selfish, and to revisit your why.
If we could gift you one thing, it’s the confidence that your next, bigger, better opportunity is just around the corner from your last ‘no’. You might not be able to see it now, maybe the shadow is lingering, maybe it’s down the block, but we really want you to start fostering that trust in yourself. Part of this comes down to gratitude. So often, where we are now is where we wished or wanted to be years ago! It’s the goal we put out there, and suddenly we’re living the dream, and we’re so unappreciative of what it took to get there, so we’re always searching for the next thing. That’s the power of self-reflection!
Truly think back to the ‘no’s’ you have said in the past year and start to identify how they correlate to different opportunities. That’s your homework for today. But your work doesn’t stop there. Saying no often requires different follow-up steps to make room for a continued no.
Quote This
Isn’t retrospect such a powerful thing? Sometimes you receive that ‘no’, it hurts and you process through however that looks, but then you get that ‘yes’ and you’re like ‘Oh! That’s better!’
Highlights
Why Rachel considers agreeing too much to be a mindset issue. [0:03:51.5]
The importance of not taking ‘no’ personally and taking action when you hear it. [0:06:55.1]
How Abagail and Emylee experienced an embarrassing no and only years later understood why it needed to never work out. [0:11:20.4]
How human design affects how you best work and encounter opportunities. [0:15:08.5]
How the environment of your childhood impacts your feelings about saying no. [0:29:35.5]
Gratitude as a powerful source that enables you to see new opportunities clearly. [0:37:19.3]
Rachel’s tangible takeaways on how to incorporate meaningful boundaries into your life. [0:44:30.2]
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Rachel Dorsey
Hey there! I’m Rachel, proud owner of RAD Virtual Support, wife to my amazing husband, Joe, and mommy of three—Tytus, Aida, and Jaxon. I’ve always believed that moms shouldn’t have to sacrifice their availability to their families in order to be providers (In fact, that’s the very thing that led me to start my business). Since I launched my virtual assistant business in 2017, I’ve had the opportunity to work in various management and support roles for small online startups, multimillion-dollar digital enterprises, and everything in between—all while maintaining a work-life balance that actually works. Along the way, I’ve learned how to effectively start, grow, and scale an online business using proven methods and strategies—and now it’s my passion to help other service providers do the same for their business. When I’m not helping my clients step into their true potential, I’m wrangling my three kids or baking up something delicious in the oven.
