How My Definition of “Enough” Has Changed

PodcastMindset

Nov 4

Episode 997: Show Notes

We all want to feel fulfilled, satisfied, and ‘enough!’ I think, ultimately, when we’re searching for ‘enough,’ we’re searching for satisfaction. I want you to know that your feeling enough will never just be satisfied by numbers on a page or by a certain amount of money. I used to think that satisfaction meant making a certain amount of money and being secure in my income. But then I realized that I wasn’t actually satisfied, and I didn’t feel whole. I had been focused on what everyone else needed for so long, and it wasn’t until this summer that I felt like I could focus on myself again. So how has my definition of ‘enough’ changed?

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What Does it Mean to Be Satisfied?

I recently looked at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs again because I realized that having all of your needs met must be the definition of satisfaction. Ideally, you need every single layer of needs to feel fulfilled, but the first layers have to be fulfilled first before you can move on to the next. I spent a lot of time focusing on safety; I wanted to sustainably make enough income so that I could take care of my safety needs, and I worked my butt off to do so. I remember when I felt like I was satisfied in this area of my life, and I still felt lost and incomplete. Instead of figuring out what was going to make me feel whole, I distracted myself by helping other people.

The Importance of Love and Belonging

This summer, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could explore what I need again. I used to think that if I was going to feel satisfied, I needed to make sure everyone else felt safe and secure, and while that was coming from a good place, it also meant I was ignoring my other needs: love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization! I realized that I was never going to be enough without community. I wanted to be hyper-independent, but we all need love and a sense of belonging. You need other people to take care of you, too! For me, I avoided intimate friendships out of fear of rejection, and I had to go and find those friendships. You can only become the best version of yourself when you feel seen and validated by the people around you.

What is ‘Enough’?

Now, ‘enough’ is not just about finances for me. It’s about relationships, choosing calm, being present, having joy, peace, and happiness. I don’t know if you’ll ever really know if you have enough. But my hope is that you realize that you are enough and you don’t have to be anyone but you! ‘Enough’ is not some destination; it is something that constantly evolves with you, and I don’t want you to get hyper-focused on one piece of the puzzle. I want you to ask yourself what you have convinced yourself you need in order to feel enough, and where you may be neglecting your personal needs. If I can leave you with anything, it’s the encouragement to put a little less on your to-do list, and a little more emphasis on the community you want to build.