How to Share a Story Your Audience Actually Cares About with Jessica Rasdall
Episode 423: Show Notes
Today on the show we have Jessica Rasdall, a motivational speaker, bestselling author, public speaking strategist, and host to the Speak to Scale Podcast to talk to us about crafting your story for the virtual stage. Now that we are homebound and communicating with our audiences online, we can do with some help when it comes to showing up as ourselves and helping people rather than just have a self-serving online presence. You’ve heard the vulnerability piece – that you need to be relatable and reveal your “humanness” to your followers, but what is the right amount of sharing?
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Jessica walks us through a formula for breaking your story down into three acts so it is most helpful to people - a structure that outlines the before, middle, and after phases of your story. Each of these three phases is important: from hooking the audience and relating to their experiences to showing them how the significant event changed your life and the difficult decisions you have had to make. For Jessica, the most important aspect is the motivation behind sharing your story, and if its primary purpose is not to help your audience in some way, you might want to reconsider. Be sure to tune in to hear the rest!
How To Get Your Audience Listening Online
When we are trying to communicate with people online, we must accept part of that communication is going to be lost, so we have to show up a little bit bigger and more intimate to reach them where they are. The many other tabs they have open and the notifications that keep dinging around then don’t help either! What makes the current situation even more challenging is that children, partners, and other family members are home and you are sharing a noisy space with them. We are also skeptical about sharing our stories now because we don’t want to seem like we are trying to get attention in this already crazy time and we want to give people something that is relevant for now rather than going off on a self-indulgent tangent! Jessica’s online philosophy involves sharing honest and true stories about ourselves.
Focus on the Message that Matters in the Story
For a long time, Jessica didn’t share her own story because she was afraid it might repel people and they wouldn’t want to work with her. She grew up with the dream of being in business, but in her freshman year of college, she made a decision that changed everything. She was involved in a car accident in which her best friend died in her passenger seat and she was overwhelmed with grief and the prospect of going to prison. Soon she learned nothing is about her and this is the secret sauce to her stories. Often, when people share their stories, they forget it is really about the message in the story rather than the story itself. Therefore, the first thing you have to ask yourself is what do you want to convey to your audience. What does your audience need? Do people want to get a message of peace, that it is okay to slow down in this period, for example? Work on the message first and then choose a story that relates to that message and supports it. You might not need to change what you offer but perhaps rethink how you talk about it.
Adjust Your Message and Choose A Story That Speaks To Their Situation
New circumstances might require you to shift your message slightly. Jessica normally helps small business owners scale their business with public speaking, but with all the delayed and canceled events, she has had to shift gears to what they can be doing right now to lay the foundation for the rest of the year. In particular, she advises her audience on how to talk to their people online. Regardless of what people say and predict, no one really knows what the future will look like and be 100% certain of how we will all come out the other end of this pandemic. When Jessica awaited her possible sentencing, she had to navigate tricky waters with her speaking, making bookings while also telling people that it might not happen if she goes to prison. While the current situation is not exactly alike, Jessica’s relates to people’s uncertainty about the future and thus they can take something out of it and apply it to their lives.
How Deep Should You Go? And Is My Story Self-Serving?
There are a few important questions to ask yourself about the relevance of your story. First, why are you sharing it? If you are trying to process your emotions, rather talk to a therapist or best friend. But those feelings do not need to be processed publicly on the internet or from a stage. If the goal is to get attention or go viral, it’s also a no-no. If your story can teach a lesson and inspire hope, however, go ahead and share. Also, be careful about which details you share because some might distract the audience away from the end goal. Another idea is to let someone else look over your story and give you feedback. During the coronavirus crisis, people also feel guilty about selling their products like they normally would or they no longer post things about their kids out of fear of being irrelevant and inappropriate. But keep doing what you normally do and provide people with the content they started following you for in the first place. Don’t try to become yet another news source on the virus. Try to find ways of helping people through this struggle while still remaining in your lane.
A Three-Act Plan To Structure Your Story
Even if you are a words person, it is still a good idea to put what you want to say down on paper. When we get nervous, we easily skip over some details or add other ones that don’t really serve your big picture message. Start by defining the message you want to share and find a story to support that message. The recipe for a good story always includes a three-act formula: before the event – the event – after the event. The first act is about letting people know how things were before the incident/accident/event happened and how it was planned to be had the event not happened. This gives them the perspective they need to care about and invest emotionally in your story and this is also the part people relate to. Act two involves the curveball: the thing that changed everything and uprooted your plan. Following this event, there is a lesson learned or a realization that happened; something that shifted your mindset, plan of action, or outlook. And this is the core message to your audience. You want to communicate the lesson you learned from what happened and round it off by your hope for the future.
Tell People Why It Was Difficult and Remind Yourself About The Impact You Are Making
It is important to tell people what your opportunities and risks were in your circumstances after the event happened and the tough decisions you had to make. Showing people what the stakes were helps to build the necessary tension but also lets them know how you feel at that time. If we fail to let people in on the fork-in-the-road moment, it might appear to them that your decision was much easier than it was. Sharing your story might not get easier over time, but there is an incredible reward in the knowledge that you are positively impacting someone else’s life and helping them to avoid the mistakes you made. You will never know how many lives you changed, but it’s a good idea to save every positive message or feedback you ever got to serve as reminders when you feel discouraged or feel like it is time to stop telling your story. That’s why Jessica likes to ask her audience for feedback following her speaking events, which also helps her to improve her talks.
Pulling Out The Dry Nuggets When Your Story Is Not “Exciting”
Many people feel like their stories don’t matter because they didn’t have this big event happen that pulled the rug from underneath them. But this is actually a huge advantage because it is much more relatable to the average person, and really, most people would give a lot to not have had that big dramatic event. When thinking about your story, consider first who specifically it is that you are talking to. Think about your ideal client or customer. Then you want to craft a billboard statement – that powerful message that encapsulates what you want to say. Emylee has often refrained from sharing her story because she is afraid of hurting some of the people she loves and cares about or making them feel less than. We often wonder what gives us the right to speak about something or to have success when we’ve done X, Y, and Z that others might judge us for or hold against us. We struggle to be proud of our own accomplishments in the context of our past mistakes or failures, and in Jessica’s case, she has a lot of survivor’s guilt. But when we have a real motivation of helping people and genuinely wanting to see them succeed, we have no choice but to keep doing what we do, and to do it to the best of our abilities.
Quote This
When we have a real motivation to help people and genuinely want to see them succeed, we have no choice but to keep doing what we do, and to do it to the best of our abilities.
—Jessica Rasdall
Highlights
How To Get Your Audience Listening Online. [0:05:01.1]
Focus on the Message that Matters in the Story. [0:06:54.1]
Adjust Your Message and Choose A Story That Speaks To Their Situation. [0:10:49.1]
How Deep Should You Go? And Is My Story Self-Serving? [0:13:27.1]
A Three-Act Plan To Structure Your Story. [0:21:38.1]
Tell People Why It Was Difficult and Remind Yourself About The Impact Your Are Making. [0:30:14.1]
Pulling Out The Dry Nuggets When Your Story Is Not “Exciting”. [0:35:35.1]
#TalkStrategyToMe [0:42:58.1]
Identify your audience.
Find a big billboard statement.
Choose a story to support it.
Bounce your story off someone else.
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Jessica Rasdall
Website | Podcast | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Jessica Rasdall is a Motivational Speaker, Best Selling Author, Public Speaking Strategist and the host of The Speak to Scale Podcast. She partners with small business owners to craft stories and presentations that connect with their audience and convert from the stage. Jessica has shared her story of turning her “mess into a message” for nearly fourteen years and has been featured on major international media outlets such as ABC's 20/20, Katie Couric, The Guardian, MTV, Netflix and much more. When Jessica was a freshman in college, she made a life-altering decision that resulted in the death of her best friend. In an effort to raise awareness, cope with her guilt and keep her friend’s memory alive, she began sharing her story. Jessica spoke to over 15,000 young adults across the country before she was sentenced to prison. By rewriting their stories, her clients are transforming what were once considered limitations into some of their greatest business assets.
KEY TOPICS
Speaking, Sharing, Vulnerability, Serving, Your story, Being relevant, Social media
