Entrepreneur

Living Beyond Society's Standards: Working Mom Life & Working With Your Spouse

Episode 348: Show Notes

As you know, all of our lives are ever evolving and the schedules and routines that organize our days are constantly in motion. A big part of this, for us, is obviously our business and we have learned some big lessons about riding the waves of change so that everything doesn't go terribly wrong any time something comes up. Today we will be talking about two major curveballs that life has thrown at us, one at Emily in the form of childcare and one at Abagail in the form of her husband's uncertain career. 

As you know, all of our lives are ever evolving and the schedules and routines that organize our days are constantly in motion. A big part of this, for us, is obviously our business and we have learned some big lessons about riding the waves of change so that everything doesn't go terribly wrong any time something comes up. Today we will be talking about two major curveballs that life has thrown at us, one at Emily in the form of childcare and one at Abagail in the form of her husband's uncertain career.   |  The Strategy Hour  |  Boss Project

In the episode we will be unpacking these stories and sharing the silver linings of each for your listening pleasure! The biggest takeaway that we want to share with all of you from this topic is that the choices you make as life changes must be the right ones for you and for your family. Not for others' standards or by their advice or opinions. Do not let the norms of society manipulate how you live your life! We are sharing all of this to support you and remind you that the right way is your way and with enough thought and time you will find it! With all that said, let's get into some strategy!

An Abrupt Change in Emily's Childcare Schedule

Emily always knew she was someone who would need childcare. She is just not that person that can work from home and take care of a kid full time at the same time! And that is okay, it is okay to ask for and pay for help in this regard! She had organized an almost dream-like schedule with her daughter getting childcare around the corner for four days a week, which suited her perfectly. Unfortunately that situation came to an end very recently due to various reasons and Emily found herself without any care for Penny at all, which put her in a bit of a spin. It was a lot to deal with and on top of that it felt like something that she had to primarily find the answer to. One of the great things about being a business owner means that you have a degree of flexibility but that does not make it easy when a spanner gets thrown in the works. Some shifts needed to be made and made quickly! Emily went through a bunch of hypothetical scenarios and tried to play things out in her head as much as possible. She tried the stay at home mom thing for like two days and hated every second of it, it was just too stressful context switching all the time. 

School Applications and Settling for Care

Emily and her husband had applied for a school for their daughter when she was just 6 months old and that was still on the cards, although in the interim some things had changed and she would not be able to start school as early as previously believed. This meant that the prospect of not having childcare was longer and more uncertain than before and pretty much induced another panic attack! Emily called on all of her most close and trusted sources and after a few dead ends found a childcare centre that could take her two days a week. Just before this started however, they stumbled on a small Montessori school, did a quick tour and immediately fell in love with the place. There were further hitches in the road however; if Emily wanted Penny to start immediately she would have to go in a certain class for summer school and then switch when fall term began, which was a lot of changes and uncertainty on top of a time of big transition. After lots of back and forth, somehow everything seemed to align and Penny was able to go into the ideal class right away and stay there in the new term too! Yay! This was a huge relief and Emily almost does not know what to do with the five days a week of childcare that she now has!

Setting Boundaries with Yourself for Your Own Health

There is no doubt the whole thing has left Emily a little worn down and tired. She hasn't had her hair done in months! She could have tried it out for the summer and seen how she handled not having childcare but realistically she probably would have lost her mind. You have to give yourself the grace to try things out, if it does not feel right then let it go. The lesson here is that you have to honor yours and in this case, your child's needs because this whole scenario was not easy on Penny at all. Most of us don't enjoy in-between times of uncertainty and it's definitely not great for children. 

Abagail's Big Changes at Home and Her Own Season of Uncertainty

For quite a while now, Abagail's husband has been talking about leaving his professional position. It has really been a serious conversation since January this year. He actually decided her would quit on April 1st but when the time came around he realized he needed a little more time to take stock and think about it. After a bit of consideration he just decided he was actually going to go through with it and that he did not need to think any longer and printed his resignation letter! What does this all mean then? He could easily and happily step into a home making role but financially that might be a bit scary, there also aren't any kids at home to take care of all day, so it might not make that much sense. So he decided to take the business that he and Abby started together and work on it full time! This is so exciting to Abagail! It is a big decision to walk away from a high profile job in architecture to work at home on a network marketing business and it might seem crazy to some but they believe in each other and the project, so why not?

QuoteThis

You have to honor your needs in any season regardless of what you are transitioning through.
Quote This via @BossProjectHQ

So What Does Life Look Like at the Pumphrey Home Now?

They cannot tell you what the future holds or how it will all go but so far there have already been some positive signs and changes that are exciting! Constant communication is very important to Abby now that they will be at home together a lot, she says she needs clear boundaries on when they are or are not working in order for the home and work space to be able to function. In the short time they have been doing it, it has worked surprisingly well and although they have not got quite to grips with everything yet, time will tell how everything needs to happen. The lesson Abagail has learned to is to ask yourself what is right for you and your family specifically. It really has to work for you, not anyone else! She is feeling like this phase of her life will now be relearning how to spend a lot of time together with her spouse and she is looking forward to that, nice lunches at home and more conversation! To be honest his decision has been met with a fair bit of fearful reaction amongst relatives and friends, but it is not their lives. If your evolving lifestyle works for you there is nothing else you need to worry about!

Highlights

  • An Abrupt Change in the Childcare Schedule. [0:06:32.4] 

  • School Applications and Settling for Childcare. [0:13:02.8]

  • Setting Boundaries with Yourself for Your Own Health. [0:21:01.2]

  • Abagail's Big Changes at Home and Her Own Season of Uncertainty. [0:27:05.5]

  • So What Does Life Look Like at the Pumphrey Home Now? [0:33:42.8]

  • Considering What is Right For You and Your Family. [0:42:12.5]


Today’sGuest

ABAGAIL & EMYLEE

The Strategy Hour Podcast

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We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.

KeyTopics

  • Parenting.

  • Content Switching.

  • Childcare.

  • Counseling.

  • Advice.

  • Schooling.

  • Career Choices.

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