Love is Blind: Lessons for Your Business from Netflix's Hit Reality Show
Episode 415: Show Notes
Like most of the US population, we are currently obsessed with the new hit show on Netflix Love is Blind! Today we are picking apart why we think this has been a viral sensation that has hit our country, and most importantly, what takeaways there are for your business. It may seem odd that we are comparing a reality show about finding love to business but you will be surprised at the similarities – especially when you look beyond what happens in public view. And if you haven’t watched this show or aren’t caught up, you might want to wait before listening to this episode because there will be spoilers.
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Love is Blind came out about two weeks ago but Emylee was late to the party since reality television is not her thing, but after watching the trailer, she was hooked! Let’s be honest though: reality shows are trashy more often than not, and some of us don’t even like admitting that we watch them – it’s a guilty pleasure for many. But they can be a rich source of learning life and business lessons. In this episode, we compare relationships to business and the principles that apply equally to both. Just as the dating stage is required to build trust between two people, so business owners need to find strategies to attract customers and then to establish themselves as trustworthy and relatable. We also talk about the importance of showing up as your true self rather than trying to be who you think others want you to be — all of which we relate to the choices of the contestants in our new favorite show. Let’s jump in!
An Overview of Love Is Blind and Why We Think It Works
For those who are not familiar, this is a dating show involving ten guys and ten girls. The idea is for contestants to find a deeper connection with someone without seeing them. They start by speed dating one another and then ruling out those they are not interested in getting to know better. As the days go by, contestants keep eliminating potential partners until each is left with one person who they then date through a pod in a wall. The question is, will they get engaged without ever seeing each other? As soon as they get engaged, the two people are allowed to see each other but then it’s all about watching to see if they stay together. The show is only four weeks from start to finish, so everything happens in a short timespan. There have been many dating shows, even ones where people don’t see each other, but this is different somehow. We are guessing that a lot of psychology went into picking the participants and we are dying to know more about the vetting process! What were the interviews like to ensure some of the people would be compatible? What the show is trying to determine is how two people fall in love when the physical intimacy and attraction aspects are removed.
How This Concept of Getting to Know A Stranger Relates To Business
In the context of business, many people try to build relationships online with prospective customers. They want people who don’t know them or have never seen them to like them and then buy whatever it is they are offering. For a lot of people, there needs to be a more intimate relationship with a person or a store before they are willing to trust and part with their money. If someone is going to redesign their brand or take their pictures, there should be a “dating” period in which trust is allowed to develop. We, therefore, see a lot of similarities between the relational processes in Love is Blind and how business owners try to get people to buy their product or service. What is important here is a person’s willingness to engage in this getting to know stage; a person’s openness to learning more about someone else or about a product. While a brand might look beautiful and polished, that is not the aspect that builds trust and then motivates a customer to make a purchase. What builds trust much quicker is vulnerability: the extent to which a business owner or the “face” of a business can be open and real. A person is relatable to another when there is a sense of shared human experience and you can leverage this strategy for your business too. We reckon the show is successful also because the contestants are willing to be vulnerable and this builds connection ten times faster.
Being Relatable Versus Shape-Shifting For Your Customers
What we’ve learned over the years with our students is that they can learn a lot from us even if our experiences differ widely. They might be a different enneagram type, have a different business philosophy, or have the opposite personality to us, but by sharing our experiences we will provide them with a framework on which to develop their own thinking. If you look at Barnett and Amber, we could have guessed he would pick her because from the beginning they related to each other’s experiences. However, we often see business owners trying to shape-shift, adjusting to each new customer and what they think this person needs from them at that moment. This does more harm than good. It’s good to be relatable but not to change who you are for the sake of fitting into someone else’s experiences. What becomes a problem is when you try to appeal to too many people. Instead, you should be clear about who your target market is even before people have a clue about your existence, and then you only speak to those people. We figure the more specific you get about who you want to help, the more people you will attract. The opposite is also true: Because you get specific about who you want to serve, those who are not for you are filtered out.
Know Who You Want To Be And Show Up
It seems like some of the Love is Blind contestants also came on the show without knowing who they wanted to be, and this is revealed towards the end when they move in together. Take Jess and Mark for example. They are a hot mess and it’s unlikely that they’ll make it because she wants to be the type of person she was in the pod but as soon as she is out of the pod, she finds it hard to maintain that personality. People also sometimes do this when they start a business: they try to be someone they are not because they think it is what people will be drawn to; they think it is who they are supposed to be. For example, Abagail was a graphic designer in the corporate world before becoming an entrepreneur and thus her portfolio appeared masculine. She wanted to move in the other direction and as a result, her brand became very soft and feminine which is not – she later discovered – who she is either. She thought it was what worked and what others wanted. Now that Jessica is leaning into who she really is, it scares her because it means changing her life after the show. Not being yourself in business is not sustainable either, and frankly, it’s exhausting.
It’s Okay To Show Up As The Upgraded Version Of Yourself But…
Yes, we all put our best foot forward when it comes to how we show up as the face of our brand. Yes, it’s okay to put on red lipstick for webinars and come off as slightly cooler or more hip than you really are, but this needs to happen within a reasonable range. While it can be a good thing to highlight your spunky side or emphasize your dry humor, you cannot be someone entirely different. Not only is this not sustainable, but you run the risk of coming off as too perfect or two-dimensional. Remember the humanity piece we spoke about earlier? People want to connect with a real person – someone who goes through ups and downs and has bad hair days like the rest of us, and when you always show up as super perky, enthusiastic, and organized for example, then you lose that authenticity. You must show up as your true self at least some portion of the time. And remember, your quirkiness can be just as appealing to your audience! The other thing that we noticed in Love is Blind is people’s willingness or unwillingness to say no to people and things. In the speed dating phase, contestants ruled one another out fairly quickly based on matters they were straightforward about, and that can be quite helpful to avoid getting involved in a relationship or business that is not right for you. The same applies to software and other systems that add unnecessary burden to your progress; say no to things that are not contributing directly to your business. We can truly learn a thing or two about quick filtering from the guys and gals on the show.
What Makes Love is Blind Different from Similar Shows
What we’ve found with this show is that there is a little less drama and it’s more focused on the relationships rather than contestants competing for attention. The other cool thing is that everybody finds someone and it’s not a competition to see who gets the one girl or guy on the show. What was awkward, however, is the inevitable small talk on the first two episodes where everyone is speed dating and having to exchange basic information. But what makes it better than many other shows that try to compete with The Bachelor is that they’re not trying to make something work that clearly isn’t and they’ve also done the casting really well. It appears as though a lot of research went into everything because they’re essentially doing a study on human behavior. It also shows how the entertainment industry is changing because now content is being produced directly for Netflix or Hulu without going to the theatre and they have all the money and resources to produce shows of such high quality. Love is Blind is the first reality show that is not produced by a network and that has had such large-scale success. But for them to remain on top of people’s watch-list, they may have to quickly produce a new season instead of taking a long production break during which people’s interest wanes. Historically, The Bachelor contestants have used social media as a platform to boost their social following and from there to become influencers. It would be interesting to see who builds out a longer-term business strategy from this newfound following.
Quote This
Don’t pull a Jessica and try to fit yourself into what you think you need to be.
Highlights
An Overview of Love Is Blind and Why We Think It Works. [0:07:10.1]
How This Concept of Getting to Know A Stranger Relates To Business. [0:11:05.1]
Being Relatable Versus Shape-Shifting For Your Customers. [0:15:10.1]
Know Who You Want To Be And Show Up. [0:22:46.1]
It’s Okay To Show Up As The Upgraded Version Of Yourself But… [0:32:31.1]
What Makes Love is Blind Different from Similar Shows. [0:38:40.1]
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Abagail & Emylee
The Strategy Hour Podcast
We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.
KEY TOPICS
Love is Blind, Reality-TV, Vulnerability, Audience, Target market, Brand identity, Shape-shifting
