Trusting Your Intuition, Taking Brave Action & Showing Up Authentically with Khanyisa Mnyaka
Episode 852: Show Notes
Today we are joined by self-love coach, TEDx speaker, author, and entrepreneur, Khanyisa Mnyaka. Khanyisa is passionate about helping individuals own their lives through her impressive understanding of the human experience. With a multitude of degrees and certifications, she is skilled at helping people overcome their limiting beliefs and people-pleasing in order to live their most authentic lives. And today she is here to help you with just that!
Khanyisa and I connected when I was inspired by a TikTok video of her discussing why her life is not a community project. I know that our community needs to hear from her because I know that so many of you struggle with imposter syndrome and feel as if you need constant validation for the work that you’re doing. But that is only the tip of the iceberg! This conversation is going to impress you so much and help you work through some things that will ultimately have a massive impact on your life and your business.
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Making Decisions Scared and Distinguishing Between Indecision and Lack of Ideas
A lot of women have been made to believe that our internal voices are not enough to make decisions. Most women get our access to intuition cut off at a very young age and therefore don’t learn to trust our internal voices. This conversation came up with one of Khanyisa’s clients and she told her that her life is not a community project or something that needs to be discussed with other people. Being indecisive ends up causing us to spiral out of control in confusion and it is so important to learn how to make decisions even when we’re scared.
Khanyisa wants you to distinguish between indecision and lack of ideas. In order to do that, it’s important to ask yourself how much of your decision-making brain is connected to the fear-centered stories you tell yourself. Sometimes uncovering what that fear actually is can be pretty challenging. That is why people hire life coaches — because being honest with yourself is difficult! You need to start to become more self-aware through honesty and figure out what that fear is connected to. You do not need to live your life from the vantage point of someone else!
Choose Your Hard: Authenticity and Radical Love vs. the Comfort of Conforming
Generational trauma is a very real thing that most people experience. Khanyisa is very honest about the fact that most people won’t break free from it because it is so difficult to do. It is very hard to spend your life feeling like you are misaligned and it is equally as hard to step out of that comfort zone or familiar zone. But what people don’t realize about any work you do on yourself is that the hard work you have to put into the actual process is really temporary. Choosing authenticity is so difficult. But you need to ask yourself what you are willing to trade off: authenticity or the comfort of conforming. The majority of people will choose to conform.
Everyone wants to be authentic without facing the consequences of being authentic because it costs you something. So how do you break out of this and accept the losses you will face? Khanyisa wants you to choose radical self-love. That means you will always choose yourself no matter who does or doesn’t choose you. So many women struggle to believe that they are deserving and have spent years lying to themselves about their unworthiness so Khanyisa wants you to instead, tell yourself that you are deserving and worthy.
Your Superpower in Life is Showing Up as Yourself
Khanyisa tells us about how she turned all the pain she’s experienced into purpose and how, when she started her business, she was still operating from a place of not being good enough and therefore, not showing up authentically. She got lost in trying to prove herself and her worth and when she stepped into her authenticity, she found her superpower in life and now can help her clients find theirs too! It is so beautiful to find yourself in a place where you love and accept yourself and are not working hard to make others do it for you.
The first step to embracing your authenticity is getting to know who you really are. Khanyisa insists that the majority of you don’t know who you really are! But, you may know who you pretend to be. You cannot fix what you can’t face and the sooner you realize that you aren’t the person you present to the world, you can figure out who you actually are. Then, you can take it one step further and define the person that you dream of becoming because if you want to be that person, chances are that you already are but some things are just blocking you.
Disrupt a Pattern by Changing How You Behave
If you know that you are not showing up authentically and are aware of it but aren’t making conscious decisions to change that, Khanyisa wants you to be self-aware without trying to change anything. Sit in the discomfort of who you truly are. If you can do that, you may find yourself making tiny decisions that alter how you show up in the world. You may expect this change to be a massive one, but so much of this change is based on how you make decisions in the moment. You disrupt a pattern by changing how you behave and that is how it starts.
You also need to bring a lot of self-compassion to the table and realize that you aren’t always going to be able to disrupt the pattern! Some days will be better than others but the trick is to keep trying. The small changes will turn into big ones. Remember, that triggers are teachers. Don’t run from them but instead approach them from a place of curiosity and learn about yourself through them. Be sure to follow Khanyisa on Instagram and TikTok to see more of the incredible truth bombs she drops and to be inspired to step into your authenticity!
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Highlights
Making Decisions Scared and Distinguishing Between Indecision and Lack of Ideas [0:03:47]
Choose Your Hard: Authenticity and Radical Love vs. the Comfort of Conforming [0:13:03]
Your Superpower in Life is Showing Up as Yourself [0:23:11]
Disrupt a Pattern by Changing How You Behave [0:31:04]
OUR GUEST:
Khanyisa Mnyaka aka Coach Khanyi
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | X | Linkedin
Khanyisa Mnyaka a.k.a Coach Khanyi is a Self Love Coach, TEDx Speaker, Author & Entrepreneur. She has been in the Self Development industry for over five years and is passionate about helping individuals OWN THEIR LIVES. With a background in Psychology, as well as certifications in Counseling and Life Coaching, Khanyi has a keen understanding of our human experiences that tend to define the course of our lives. Khanyi grounds her work in the foundations of Radical Self Love, Self Compassion and Self Responsibility. She is skilled in helping people overcome their limiting beliefs, learning how to overcome pleasing people in order to live as their most authentic selves.
OUR HOST:
Abagail Pumphrey
Boss Project on Instagram | Facebook
Abagail Pumphrey, the Co-Founder & CEO of Boss Project, has been a driving force in the creative entrepreneur industry since 2015. With a passion for empowering service-based business owners around the globe, she became internet-famous after the launch of the transformative training, "Trello for Business." This innovative system revitalized the operations of over 10,000 business owners, making a significant impact on the online business landscape.
Under Abagail's leadership, Boss Project has been featured in prestigious publications such as Forbes, Marie Claire, INC, and HuffPost. Her twice-weekly podcast, The Strategy Hour, is a staple in the business community, continuously topping Business and Management Charts on Apple with millions of listeners from around the world.
Abagail's superpower lies in her ability to break down complex concepts into easy-to-implement, duplicatable systems. As an expert in online sales and a data-driven strategist, she has turned a layoff into a 7-figure work-from-home business. Abagail's mission to help more female founders become financially free, without letting their businesses take over their lives, continues to inspire and guide entrepreneurs on their path to success.
Key Topics:
Mindset, Radical Self-Love, Authenticity, Disrupting Patterns, Life Coaching, Imposter Syndrome, Perfectionism
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