Avoiding Burnout & Becoming a New You
Episode 560: Show Notes
While we can’t tell you what this episode is going to look like, we can tell you where we are at. Being an entrepreneur is hard. It presents challenges that you don’t anticipate. Things pop up that you never imagined dealing with and you are pushed to grow as a person as you continue to grow your business. We wish we could say that it was always easy or that we always know what to do, but we don’t. The idea for this episode started when Emylee inboxed Jessica Eley and their conversation led to a lot of tears.
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We want to preface this conversation by saying there are a handful of conversations that we have had like this where we are truly in the weeds and workshopping things as we go. We will probably get clarity just by talking it out with you guys and we love that we have the space to do that. It is not going to be an episode that ends with a resounding conclusion or strategy. We want to talk about the challenges that come with growth and clear out some of the junk in our brains in the hope that you won’t feel as alone if you were thinking some of the same things.
How To Interpret The Strain We Feel As We Work Toward Our Goals
There have been a lot of tears recently so we wanted to let you know what has been going on in our business to cause them. 2018 and 2019 were hard years for us and we decided that 2020 would be an opportunity to reset and make work fun again. We achieved this goal but then it was time for more growth. While Emylee was up for this she got to the point where she could no longer handle it. One lesson she took away from this was that she needs to come to Abagail earlier if she is feeling burned out. The other big question it raised for her though was about how to interpret the struggle that comes with growth. As we work extra hard to reach new versions of ourselves, how can we know that the strain we feel is a sacrifice to growth versus a sign that we are out of alignment?
The Pain That Comes with Growing Into A New Version of Yourself
The truth is that life is cyclical and moves through phases where we feel secure and then begin to question ourselves. The thing about a season of growth is that it is easy to get so caught up in the external activities needed to implement it that we forget about the mindset aspect which should be the root of the activities involved. For us, in our business, we have been through many such seasons and used to deal with them by simply hunkering down and doing what needed to be done. Part of what we learned in the growth we experienced in those times was that maybe the hunkering down strategy is not always the best one and sometimes one should take heed of the discomfort one feels, but this is easier said than done. We have gotten to the point where we are making more money than anybody in our families and the fact that we want to grow more has nothing to do with salaries but about the growth itself. What is difficult is that we have no idea what that growth should look like because we have no reference point. As children, growth is about testing out possible ideas you have about who you could be by acting them out. However, as an adult, growth always has to go hand in hand with grieving for the person you used to be. When you don’t know what you are growing into, it is easy to get caught up in the grief part. The main thing to remember here is to be kind to yourself as you go through a process like this.
Meditations on Trying New Things and Knowing When to Quit
In the early part of an entrepreneurial journey, there are many resources to consult that can be used as a guide. However, as one rises up to higher ranks, it gets harder to know whether the decisions one is making are the right ones. This concept has been freaking us out because we want to get things right the first time but of course, that is not possible. This brings up interesting questions about our approaches to trying new things and the connection that has to the way we were raised. Emylee has the personality type where if she is not good at something, she will quit immediately. Abagail feels that if you never give things a chance, you will never get good at anything. Emylee saw a TikTok post where a woman was showing gratitude to her parents for making her feel that it was ok to quit, and the skill she took away from that was a willingness to give things up if they weren’t making her happy which freed her up to try new things. So this concept of a willingness to try and a willingness to quit is clearly very complex. As far as how this translates into our business, we have tried to make adjustments to the way we do things rather than quit. At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to growth. It is okay to not know what to do, and the bright side of things is that while we may not know what lies ahead 100 steps into the future, mostly we can at least tell what to do for the next four or five.
Weighing Up The Pros and Cons of Being in The Driver’s Seat
We wrap up today’s conversation with Emylee asking Abagail a question. Considering all the challenges relating to growth and entrepreneurship spoken about today, Emylee asks Abagail if she would still choose to be her own boss if she could do it all over again. Abagail’s answer is a resounding yes because when you are your own boss, you get to be in the driver’s seat and take ownership of how you steer your life in a way that promotes the growth you need to experience. Both Abagail and Emylee remember what it was like working for somebody else and how hard it was to feel appreciated and have any control. Moreover, our two hosts have both had a 30% salary raise in the last six months, which is pretty much impossible in a W2 situation. We know we said there wouldn’t be any conclusion to our discussion today, and the truth is there isn’t because new challenges can always be found around the corner, but when you are in charge, you get to choose how to handle them. If you ever find yourself feeling out of control, you can take solace in the fact that as your own boss, you have the power to make a choice and slow down in order to reassess. So thank you for taking the time to listen to our ramblings today and we hope some of what we said resonated. Lastly, as always, if you want to reach out to us and continue discussing any of the themes we spoke about today, don’t hesitate to get in touch!
Quote This
There is no right or wrong answer as to how you move forward with growth. We think we just have to remind ourselves that it is ok to not know.
Highlights
How To Interpret The Strain We Feel As We Work Toward Our Goals. [0:05:03.5]
The Pain That Comes with Growing Into A New Version of Yourself. [0:13:20.2]
Meditations on Trying New Things and Knowing When to Quit. [0:29:11.1]
Weighing Up The Pros and Cons of Being in The Driver’s Seat. [0:38:41.1]
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Abagail & Emylee
We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.
KEY TOPICS
Burnout, Alignment, Growth, Leadership, Change, Courage, Trust
