Life Lessons from Oprah: It's Time to Give Y-O-U a New Focus
Episode 411: Show Notes
It’s probably not much of a long shot to assume many people dream they could meet Oprah in real life. Indeed Abagail spent much of her youth watching the Oprah Winfrey Show as soon as she was old enough. One thing she didn’t realize though was that in all Oprah’s years of her show, she focused so much on everyone else’s story that one rarely heard about her personal life. Oprah protected her personal life for a lot of reasons but Abagail had an opportunity to spend some time with her recently, which sounds unbelievable but it's true!
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During her time with Oprah, Abagail learned some really interesting things about how the talk show legend approached habits and intentionality, and the role these played in her huge success. The things Oprah taught Abagail lended huge insight both into her personal life and business, and are tips anybody can take away and apply to themselves. Emylee hadn’t heard much about the trip yet so in this episode, Abagail walks her through some of the exercises around intentionality that Oprah did with her over the weekend to check how they resonate with her. The exercises gave Abagail some new perspectives on things she thought she had a good handle on so make sure you follow along for today’s show.
Revisiting Intentionality to Define Your ‘Why’
Abagail asked Emylee “Why do you run your own business?” Emylee enjoys the habits of being her own boss such as being at home, and living the aspects of her personality that running her own business brings out in her. We hear from Emylee though that the idea of having such a well defined ‘why’ has felt distasteful to her at times. She does what she does ‘just because.’ Why should she ask herself why if she just feels like it? Oprah gave this challenge some new meaning over the weekend by reintroducing the importance of ‘why’ and using the concept of intentionality in a step-by-step process to rediscover it. Having a clearly defined ‘why’ revolves around the concept of wellness. With our ‘why’ in order, we are able to focus clearly, to assess whether our lives are actually equipped to allow us to pursue the goal in front of the ‘why.’ With a clearer focus, we can pursue the goal more powerfully and take the steps to achieve it more confidently. The mood gets set up for focused and intentioned actionability. But how do we go about setting this intentionality to find our ‘why,’ and even the ‘why’ behind our ‘why?’
Aligning Your Intentions with Your True Self
In this section we do a little exercise to discover what the real intentions behind our goals are, and whether they are in line with who we truly are. Start by taking a sheet of paper and then think of a goal you had in the past that you did not reach. What was it? Then think of all the reasons why you wanted to reach that goal. Maybe it was because of the opportunities it provided, or because of pride, or setting an example. These reasons you can remember are the intentions behind the goal you did not reach, but were they really in line with who you are if you think hard about it? We then introduce you to a series of questions to ask yourself about that goal, and most of them revolve around fear or social pressures. You might be surprised at how many of these your answer is ‘yes’ to. The reality is that if you answered ‘yes’ to any of them at all then the intentions behind your goal didn’t align with your true self! If your intentions aren’t clear they can end up standing in the way of your goal! So before going after something, check if the reasons you are doing it have more to do with others than yourself. Your true intention is something that resonates with your mind, body, and spirit – your whole self. What are you truly seeking? Maybe it’s not to do with money, but rather about being free or leaning into your power. So how can you know if your intentions are truly in line? Ask yourself if it will bring more meaning and fulfillment into your life. Maybe if we were driven by focus and intention rather than goals and a ‘why’ we might go about reaching our goals differently.
Focus, Habits, Cues, Rewards
This new perspective on the power of right intentionality is hugely eye-opening, but unfortunately, it is only the beginning of the process! Now you need to put your recently discovered perspectives into action! This is where commitment comes into play. Commitment is not just trying but deciding. Abagail lays out a strategy for figuring out how to get your life into further synchronization with your intentions. Don’t try and apply this process to your business immediately though. Start small, and pick something self-serving! The first thing to do is to find a focus. It could be to be more mindful, or maybe to have more ease in your life. Maybe it is to have better relationships. Once you have a focus, it is time to create some new healthy habits around it so your life starts to get more filled with that experience. These habits can be super small and simple. For example, you could choose to make your bed in the morning or drink more water, or to only have one snack after dinner rather than several. Keep them doable! The next step in this process is about cues. Set up things that trigger a warning to keep doing the habits you have chosen. Finally, you get to focus on rewards. Figure out what the habits are doing for your life in a positive sense, and when you feel these effects, dwell on them and appreciate them!
Staying Motivated in the Entrepreneurial Game
It’s all very well setting up this system for good habits, but as all of us know, staying truly committed over time can get very tough. So what should you do if you start losing steam and the finish line feels far away? One of the first things Oprah suggests is to break goals down into smaller chunks. Things that create impact can and are built in small pieces! If the habit you are trying to form has to do with stopping an activity, another great trick to practice is finding something you can do it its place. Trying not to be the only one who cooks? Read instead! Trying to eat less junk food? Read! Forming healthy habits can get really difficult, and if you aren’t sure you can go on anymore, another great strategy is reaching out for support! You can also think back to past challenges you have overcome and use those as your own personal support system. Motivation can deplete in all kinds of ways and it can be really helpful to find ways of breathing new life into your journey. Create rewards that are different from the unhealthy reward the old negative habit used to give you. Another strategy is to remove the barriers that are in the way of you and your new healthy habit. If your gym is too far away, join one closer, and so on. Finally, any new habit will be so much easier to accomplish if you are doing it for the right reasons, so go back to intentionality if all else fails. Remind yourself why you are doing this, and if it's in line with who you are, you’re bound to persist!
Quote This
Commitment is not just trying but deciding.
Highlights
Revisiting Intentionality to Define Your ‘Why.’ [0:04:01.1]
Aligning Your Intentions with Your True Self. [0:10:37]
Focus, Habits, Cues, Rewards. [0:28:13]
Staying Motivated in the Entrepreneurial Game.. [0:45:31]
ON TODAY’S SHOW
Abagail & Emylee
The Strategy Hour Podcast
We help overwhelmed and creative entrepreneurs break down their Oprah-sized dreams to create a functioning command center to tame the chaos of their business. Basically, we think you’re totally bomb diggity, we’re about to uplevel the shiz out of your business.
KEY TOPICS
Entrepreneurship, Growth, Systems, Hiring, Lifestyle, Outsourcing
