Episode 355: Show Notes
This is an episode that can apply to any of our listeners, no matter where you are currently with your biz! There are always times that you need to get people on board and with what you are doing or hoping to do. Whether you are just starting or ramping up to a new level, conversations have to be had with those close to us, to create understanding, buy-in and a system that can work for you. You need to be able to communicate where your passion lies and how you want to do things moving forward. These can be awkward conversations at times but we are here to guide you the process and make it that little bit easier! We want to help you to see what is important, what must be said and what can be left out.
These are such necessary conversations with our friends, partners, and family and their buy-in can be what you need to get where you are going. At the same time, you do not have to rely on people being on board with us to be successful, you will have to gauge your own needs in this regard. Change, whether big or small, can be a gamble and moving in new directions often has no guarantees. We suggest a bit of planning for these types of conversations as well as some warning for the other party involved. Most people do not like big announcements sprung on them out of nowhere! We also want to mention that other people's feelings are not your problem or your choice but that does not mean they will not affect you. We want to help you make things go smoother in potentially rocky terrain, so join us as we dive in!
Preparing for the Conversation, Knowing the Person
Ask yourself, "How does the person react to change?" This will help you prepare for the conversation. Do they tend to be pessimistic? Do they react badly to change? If you set up the chat in advance according to this knowledge they will be less likely to be defensive and react badly. You are essentially giving them time to deal with things in the best way possible. Emylee remembers when she first started on her journey, she used to get defensive whenever her husband asked what she had been doing that day! In these situations, you can only control yourself and hope that others get on board with you. It can help to state what you are hoping for, bringing you more confidence and even subconsciously feeding the story that you want to be true to another person. But keep in mind that these comments, if communicated in the wrong way can come off as pipe dreams, so take yourself seriously so others can too! It is common for other people to hesitate at the idea of you walking away from something stable like a day job and it is quite a different conversation than mentioning a supplementary income on top of what you are already doing. Just remember that a person's reaction is often made out of fear and feeling of protection for you.
Running the Conversation in the Right Way
Ultimately you want the person you are speaking with to take you seriously, the more in control of yourself and the conversation you are, the easier this is. Be honest with your emotions but do not use them as a way to manipulate! Maintaining a calm and level headed energy during these conversations might be the most helpful way but if you are overflowing with passion you do not necessarily need to hide that. One of the main goals is to try and steer clear of getting into a fight or a difficult argument, we've all been there! It can be really helpful to talk about your plans moving forward and to even state some commitments from your side, including timelines and goals. Being these few steps ahead of the game and dialogue can go a long way.
Laying out Your Plans and Achievable Goals
We help students map out their plans and goals all the time! You do not have to have everything figured out but an overview will be useful to share with someone you are trying to get on board. Offer some points and ideas of how you envision making things happen. This shows investment and research from you and sharing your thought process makes things easier to understand. They may still say that they think it is a bad idea, that is up to them and is mostly around their own fears, so ask yourself what you need out of this conversation and why you are presenting them with this information. Do you need validation? Do you need them to be on board with everything you do? Is their support and help vital to your success? Knowing the answer to these questions will guide you through the chat. Also, fact-check their opinions. Where are they coming from and how much experience do they have in this regard? This will help you keep the conversation in perspective!
Taking Things Slowly, One Step at a Time
It is so important to understand how others view conflict! This conversation does not have to be a conflict but it might end up that way, so being prepared for that will stand you in good stead. This decision that you are making might feel, to someone else, like you are putting yourself and even them, in jeopardy, so draw on your experience with this person to handle it well. How to do they go about a discussion or argument? Do they like to talk it through until it is all figured out? Do they need time to go away and process new information or a disagreement? If you can be the better person and stand solid, it will be in your favor and, ultimately, theirs too. In this kind of scenario, we even recommend adapting to their way of working, give them what they need to lubricate things, this stuff all helps! Have your action plan ready and be as specific as possible. Offer them easy solutions for the short term, so that they can see how you will work things out. Be very clear on your hopes and goals, timeframe and progress, show them your accountability and then get to work! Dream scenarios do not happen in a flash, so you have to just keep chipping away for a while to get where you need to be. We hope this helps and that you have someone who is supportive and can cheer you on in whatever way you need!
Preparing for the Conversation, Knowing the Person. [0:05:43.6]
Running the Conversation in the Right Way. [0:12:54.2]
Laying out Your Plans and Achievable Goals. [0:19:52.8]
Taking Things Slowly, One Step at a Time. [0:26:04.4]