Why Strangers Support You More Than the People You Actually Know

PodcastMarketing

Dec 11

Episode 803: Show Notes

I’ve been doing business for long enough to know that the people you love the most aren’t always your biggest supporters. Today, I discuss this slightly unsettling topic and share some advice that will make you feel empowered! I want to provide some insight into why strangers sometimes support you more than the people you actually know and help you see it as an opportunity instead of a source of frustration. This is a topic that I have touched on before, so if you want even further insight, check out Episode 409.

I’m sure you have people in your life who love, support, and cheer you on and others who only “sort of" support you too. Maybe you feel held back, let down, or frustrated by the way they talk about you, your career, or your business. Tuning in, you’ll hear my take on why people aren’t always supportive and how you can manage your expectations, seek support elsewhere, and learn to self-validate!

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Feedback from Loved Ones isn’t Always Reliable

When you look at the people who are not there for you in the way you hoped they would be, it’s often because it's a reflection of their own fears or feelings of being stuck. The more success you have, the more you threaten who they are. They could be deflecting things they are fearful or skeptical of and it probably has absolutely nothing to do with you. This might lead you to make entirely different decisions based on the feedback you receive from people who are important to you. There might also be people in your life who are incredibly supportive, but their feedback still isn’t necessarily helpful because they are generally just trying to keep you safe. Then, there are the “yes men,” the people in your life who are constantly cheering you on to the point where you can’t even decipher if something is a good idea anymore.

Strangers Want to See People Win

Think about how you show up for strangers who are doing something amazing. We tend to be more invested in helping the underdog win! That’s because strangers are less biased, have less emotional involvement in your outcome, and aren’t going to be affected by your decisions. This makes it even more difficult to see the people you love who aren’t there for you behaving in such positive and supportive ways towards other people. That can be incredibly discouraging and the irony is, oftentimes, you do the exact same thing. This is just human behavior and it is all about how humans are wired!

Seek Support & Validation from the Right People

You shouldn’t look for validation or support from one person in every area of your life. Often, you put too much weight on how you want them to show up for you. If you do that, you might be disappointed! No one can support you in all areas of your life except YOU. A lot of this comes down to being more self-reliant and reflective. It is a good idea to align different people with different areas of your life. Sometimes, these people aren’t your friends and, sometimes, the people who are going to be the most supportive are the ones you have to pay!

I encourage you to think about seeking advice from the right people and determining whether or not they are going to give you valuable perspective. If you’re simply looking for validation, ask yourself if it is warranted or if you just want to be told that you made a good decision. When I stopped expecting loved ones to be there for me in all aspects of my life, I became so much more satisfied with those relationships. It’s not about forcing them to support you. It’s about finding the support you need. Ultimately, this need for support and validation is because you’re growing and changing and becoming a new version of yourself. As you shift, so do your relationships. You have to release your old life to embrace your new life.

The Beauty of Support from Strangers

Support from strangers is a beautiful thing and it isn’t something you should be frustrated by. In fact, it can be empowering! I often see people hold back because they know the people they love are watching. You don’t have to hide your career from the people you love because you’re worried about what they think of you.

You may be impressed by how much more authentic you are when you choose not to worry about the reactions of others. I know it can be really hard to show up in that way. Staying true to your values and living in alignment with who you are is difficult, but it is also the only way to guarantee lasting success.

Imagine that everything you put out there is for people you’ve never met before. Strangers will often support you more than people you already know, and that is a beautiful thing! More often than not, changing your expectations and expressing your needs will make you feel far more supported in the long run. Boss Project is here for you! I want to support your business in ways that empower you. The Co-op will provide you with all the tools and strategies you need, so consider signing up today.

Quote This

You’re going to find your group of people!

Highlights

Why Feedback from Loved Ones isn’t Always Reliable. [0:07:33]
Why Strangers Want to See People Win. [0:11:23]
Seeking Support and Validation from the Right People (and Yourself). [0:16:54]
The Beauty of Support from Strangers. [0:24:20]

OUR HOST:

Abagail Pumphrey

Abagail on Instagram

Boss Project on Instagram | Facebook

Abagail Pumphrey, the Co-Founder & CEO of Boss Project, has been a driving force in the creative entrepreneur industry since 2015. With a passion for empowering service-based business owners around the globe, she became internet-famous after the launch of the transformative training, "Trello for Business." This innovative system revitalized the operations of over 10,000 business owners, making a significant impact on the online business landscape.

Under Abagail's leadership, Boss Project has been featured in prestigious publications such as Forbes, Marie Claire, INC, and HuffPost. Her twice-weekly podcast, The Strategy Hour, is a staple in the business community, continuously topping Business and Management Charts on Apple with millions of listeners from around the world.

Abagail's superpower lies in her ability to break down complex concepts into easy-to-implement, duplicatable systems. As an expert in online sales and a data-driven strategist, she has turned a layoff into a 7-figure work-from-home business. Abagail's mission to help more female founders become financially free, without letting their businesses take over their lives, continues to inspire and guide entrepreneurs on their path to success.